Reflection of 2018

My heart started beating so fast as I thought of the way to start this blog. This is a reflection of my 2018 and the beginning of a new year and a new life and since writing is therapeutic I felt I should share it to you all.For me and some other people this year 2018 wasn't really a great year and to some others it was really a very great year. If you are reading this and your year wasn't so great i think you should cheer up because 2019 is going to be a great year with great breakthroughs.This is going to be a sincere and honest reflection and if you feel you also want to share with me your own experience, you can send an email to me and I would respond.(Udezuekristabel@gmail.com)
    
 At first I wasn't so excited about this year because I was really tired of staying home all day and the stress of conveying to University of Lagos (UNILAG) from my house for my A levels was totally killing me. I just badly wanted to finally enter school and experience life. Thankfully I finally got admission and in a week time I had already left for school (UNN).Two weeks after I had my matriculation and it was a bad day. Let me now gist you how my matriculation came out bad. In all honesty I didn't plan on participating in the matric at all. I had just resumed about two weeks ago and I was like what is the point in me participating, but my dad wasn't having any of it and forced me to come out. I was scared to even insist that I didn't want to be a part of it so I  just had to show up. When I arrived Nsukka there hadn't been light in fact I met scarcity of light but I was managing through it. It continued until matric day and my power bank was dead and my phone was very low. So I woke up in the morning as early as 6am, had my bath, took my gown and rushed to one of the girls hostel to do my makeup and plug my phone. Luck wasn't on my side that day because there wasn't also light in school so I was basically stranded. I hadn't made much friends from my department so I was just hopeless. I had no idea where my faculty was doing theirs and my phone was low and I couldn't even get on the group chat to see where they where. I did my makeup as fast as I could and when it was time to wear my gown, it wasn't my size. Chai! was all I could say. It forcefully entered but mehn I couldn't breath. I  had to literally wear my matriculation gown all day to cover the shortness and tightness of the gown. Many things went down that day so let me cut the story short, the day was a very long and tiring one but it eventually ended. I continued with my life, made friends, talked to some more people, read my books and prayed hard. I didn't go home all through from January I left till August. The  course am studying with the school am going to is all shades of depression to me. One thing am not going to do is either regret my course or my school at least for now. I hadn't even understood what depression was till I came in contact with it. Let me confess my first year didn't go so well, in fact I  have made a conscious effort not to make it a thing of worry to me anymore. I have moved on from there and happily starting a new phase of my life. One thing which is undeniably true and am going to talk about is people you meet. I don't want to call them friends or enemies but this year 2018 I met lot of people I wished I had never met and on the bright side I met people that am super grateful for. Permit me do small shout out to my homies Chinelo, Amara and Kingsley A. And to my old friends who check up on me even if sometimes am annoying and sound uninterested, am so sorry for that and its not my real face its the stress and overtired face so shout out to Macolm Jennifer, Mezie, Kemi, Cynthia , Funke , and the rest of you all. I really appreciate. Something I learnt this year is to never rely on people to be happy and in as much you talk and stay with someone doesn't mean that the person is meant to be in your life. Some people are just put there by God to teach you a lesson and make you grow.
          We are entering a new year soon and I hope everyone crosses with me. If you have read up to this part and wish to continue reading, I want you to reflect on this past year. How has this year been, what are you grateful for? what are your achievements, what did you successfully change about you and what do you want to change this new year. Personally am super grateful for my family, chai it is not easy. Am grateful for my life because I know when there is life there is unmeasurable hope. I am grateful for my friends, the food I eat and so much more. I have lots of things I  want to make right this 2019 and nothing is going to stop me and nothing is going to stop you.
          On a final note I want you to understand that life is twisted in so many ways. I am still trying to understand myself  and in reality because you are not where you want to be doesn't mean you can never get there or doesn't mean you won't get there one day. Thinking of it, behind every success is a story behind it. You have to be able to survive through storms and cold days. Back in secondary school in my essay the most popular idiomatic expression I loved using was life is not a bed of roses, I knew what the meaning was but I never thought I would some day have to rely on it and even if I knew it was an important life fact I didn't know I would need to know it too soon.
          Thank you for reading till this end if you did and I wish you a merry Christmas and a very prosperous new year.
                                                                                                                                 With love,
                                                                                                                                  Deenmah